Single in the City : Adventures in Urban Dating











{December 6, 2008}   Chasing the Big O

In the continual pursuit for it, I’ve realized that it’s all about letting it go. Letting it ALL go. When I can simply pull the plug on my thoughts, expectations and anticipation and let everything swirl down the drain – it happens. Chasing it down, having a goal and being success-driven misses the point entirely. It’s all about enjoying the process. And when it does come, it comes BIG. I am, of course, talking about the elusive female orgasm. The one that is not supposed to have a biological purpose but because women do, it has puzzled scientists (who must be all men). The elusivity of my own, however, has puzzled me in recent months. After a huge emotional break up seven months ago, I’ve been chasing the big O like some pursue double chocolate cheese cake. What I’ve discovered is that when my mind is not ready – my body is not ready either. One cannot act without consent from the other. A shame really, when men can so easily divide up the connection with ease. Jumping into bed with a stranger will never bring about the desired results for me…and I end up mentally chasing something that won’t physically exist until I let go the chase and bring my mind and body together for the event. Being in love, helps. So, finally, and with regularity, I am coming! Coming instead of chasing. After more than 15 years of being sexually active, I’ve figured out a little bit more about me.

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