Single in the City : Adventures in Urban Dating

{August 18, 2008}   Wait a Minute….Is This a Brush Off?

Coffee date. First meeting. Kits Coffee House 4th Ave. He’s sitting outside on the patio drinking an iced tea. I approach and immediately recognize him from his pictures. He’s wearing sunglasses, jeans and a nice shirt.  “Marvin! Nice to meet you,” as I lean in for a hug. Nice smile, good skin, pleasant manner, but not sure about the eyes as the sunglasses have not  come off. It’s sunny, I suppose. I order a smoothy (and pay) and we chat over our drinks.  The conversation flows, but he has yet to make actual eye contact.  Apparently, the sunnies are a permanent fixture.  Then he gets a call (which he answers) and I excuse myself to the washroom. He suggests we walk down 4th and window shop. Great. At least now we are moving and I don’t have to stare blankly into his black, reflective bug eyes. We walk two blocks and then he says, “Well, I don’t want to take up too much more of your time. Should we head back?” Hold on a sec….we met just 25 minutes ago, he hasn’t taken his sunglasses off to look at me directly, he got the phone call, and now he’s suggesting that he is taking up my time? Is this an easy let down, a quick escape, an SOS, a plan B?  Is he giving me the “Brush Off”?  I’m shocked and a little amused. This hasn’t happened before, or rather, it’s usually the other way round! Could it really be that he is just not that into me? I’m no egotist, but I find that hard to believe! I’ve been charming, cute, outgoing, funny….what’s not to like? I’m casual, elegant, nonchalant. “Sure, I’ve got another appointment I have to get to anyway.” He gives me his card. Smiles (mouth only, I still can’t see his eyes) and turns on his heel. Urban myths surrounding dating abound, but my first encounter with the infamous brush off is for real!


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