Single in the City : Adventures in Urban Dating

{August 4, 2008}   The Frontline of Online Dating

It’s been a long two months since the break up and I’m ready to move on from crying myself to sleep at nights, pondering over the decision to leave, and wondering if we’ll get back together. I need a distraction, a diversion and a general feel good escape. The safest, most convenient, if not laziest way? Online dating of course! In a city like Vancouver, where everyone will tell you meeting new people outside of one’s comfortable and familiar social group is nearly impossible, online dating is a sure bet! Even a Vancouver native like myself finds meeting new people, face to face, up close and personal difficult. Thus, I found myself cruising around on some of the big online dating sites like eHarmony, Lavalife, Plentyoffish and the likes. I knew I didn’t want to commit myself fully (read: I didn’t want to pay anything!) so I found a site where I could do virtually everything without forking out any cash (I know guys might have a different story  – it’s tantamount to women not paying cover to get into a club). So, Lavalife it is – where smiles are free and the responses are great! Taking a rather passive online dating stance, I’ve sent a few smiles but usually I just respond to the ones that have been sent to me (read: it costs money to actually initiate an email or IM (instant message). The management of messages, however, takes up so much time doing an active search often isn’t possible! 

So here I am, 2 weeks into the business of online dating and I’m finding it extremely entertaining! It’s amazing how much you can tell about somebody simply by exchanging a few emails or IMs.  The guy that sent me an IM opening with, “Hey, do you like hot, heavy, passionate, wet kissing?” didn’t get very far – I responded with a simple, “No, thanks” – and that was the entire length of that relationship! A similar response was elicited from the guy who stated, “It’s my birthday today, want to go out for dinner then hook up at my place later?” Usually, pleasant and polite let downs are sufficient – most everybody is in it for the fun and those who aren’t – well, you can spot them a mile away and give them a wide berth (after all, it’s completely anonymous – and you never have to let anybody know any of your personal information ever, if you so choose). I find it a very convenient and safe (if not time consuming) way to sort through the laundry, as it were.  No obligation flirting while sitting around the house in your pjs drinking tea is my way to meet people!

I had decided to take one of those meetings “live” recently. After moving our IM chat to MSN (it’s free and faster), we continued our conversation for 3.5 hours! A personal record for me and a definite sign that this guy could indeed carry on a decent chit-chat.  A few texts and a phone call later, we met in a hotel lounge downtown for a drink. It was great! The guy looked liked his photos, was as nice as he seemed “online” and the back and forth of our getting to know each other lasted hours! It was in a word: pleasant. And given that I’m not looking to get entrenched in another relationship (yet) and most definitely not looking for my soulmate (yet) – it was a wonderful first date after a long pity party!


Susan says:

HI there! I just wanted to suggest Great Expectations for a placed to meet someone. After I broke a long-term relationship off a friend of mine suggested it. And I couldn’t be happoer. I am meeting men I have things in common with and enjoying dating again. Just a suggestion. is a free online dating site that let you meet peoples looking for fun and long term relationship.

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