Single in the City : Adventures in Urban Dating

{July 1, 2008}   Invisible Lines

How does one know when that invisible line between friend and potential lover is about to be crossed? And how, once one has discovered where it lies, is it possible to back slowly away from it without offending the friend? Questions to ponder, as I answer my third text of the day from him.  A guy friend, yes, but he’s campaigning very hard to change categories. It occurred to me like a bolt of lightening as we sat over a fantastic meal of ahi tuna and bellinis  (should the invitation for dinner and movie have tipped me off?) that the sustained eye contact was a little too intense, too deep, too meaningful.  In other words, the line was rushed like an impending WWI battle with me standing there eyes wide shut. retreat! retreat!  Then later, after a funny conversation about our best three skills, he turns to me and (with that intense stare again) says he’s really good at giving back rubs. Yikes! Red flag central! This is most certainly not something I intend to pursue but he’s such a wonderful friend and person that I need to communicate to him (morse code?) in not so many words – that I’m NOT INTERESTED!  That line needs to be re-drawn in no uncertain terms. I know I’m good at being blunt (my best friends and worst enemies tell me so) but this situation requires a delicate touch. Should I send an email? A text? A telepathic thought? Different invisible lines, yes but perhaps they might serve well to re-establish the one that so desperately needs to be understood!


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