Single in the City : Adventures in Urban Dating











{July 1, 2008}   A Beer, A Bong and a Lapdance

Maybe I sounded upset on the phone or perhaps it was my request to fly solo today that tipped my friends off, but whatever it was the suggestion for a beer, a bong and a lapdance that came vibrating through a text message made me laugh out loud. Is that what people do when they are trying to get over someone? Maybe, but certainly distraction in any form is helpful.  I find when the day unwinds and the night settles in that it’s hardest to accept that I’m sleeping alone. Or when buying groceries, single serving – just for one. Or when looking for apartments -the inevitable question:  “is it just you renting?”. Or whenever the music and chatter in my head finally stop and there is nothing to listen to except the stillness that fills the in-between moments. Those are the hardest.  Then it’s my heart’s turn to be heard.  And try as I might to drown it out, it comes through loud and clear: I’ve lost a love and nothing but time will soothe it’s ache. If it sounds pitiful, it’s because it is. I’ve never had the carpet of my life pulled so completely, so quickly from under my feet – adjusting to the new balance is difficult and I understand it needs some focus -but the blurry life of distraction is so much easier to deal with. It’s just those awful in-between moments when time stretches out like an elastic and I wait for the snap, the sting and it always comes. God, I’m writing in metaphor. It’s worse than I thought….maybe I should take my friends up on their offer: a beer, a bong and a lapdance might just work.

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