Single in the City : Adventures in Urban Dating











{August 21, 2008}   10 Second First Impression

There have been studies done that show we make a first impression in a very, very short period of time. I’m going to guess it takes about 10 seconds.  Last night, on yet another first date, I met Jake. He seemed like a friendly, laid-back sort of bloke online but when I met him in person – and this took 10 seconds to ascertain – I realized that either this guy was suffering from some debilitating form of shyness or he just couldn’t hold a conversation, or both. After I introduced myself, gave him a quick perfunctory hug, I asked him how his day was. He responded with, “I dunno….okay…. I guess”. This accompanied with a shoulder shrug, a raise of the eyebrows and a pulling back of the upper lip as if to suggest he really didn’t know how his day was. We ordered drinks and already I knew that this was not going to work out. Our energies simply didn’t match. The conversation was like pulling teeth. Too many, “I dunnos”, too many one word answers, too many silences. And I didn’t have the strength to root for both sides. As he started to scan the menu for food (God, No!) I quickly finished my drink and excused myself to the washroom. Then I sent the text: Help! Bad Date! Call me! I’ve never actually had to send an SOS text before but I guess there is a first time for everything. As I walked back to the table, I caught our server and paid the bill toute de suite! Just as I sat down the SOS call came through! Timing is really everything! I thanked him for meeting with me, wished him luck and I was off. 

There are too many people out there, and life is far too short, to spend even one iota of time on someone you know is just not right for you.  Even if it is just 10 seconds.



{August 12, 2008}   Text Message Etiquette

I’ve moved my communications with one guy from the online dating site instant messages to text messages. At the get go, he was already a little straight forward. He wrote something along the lines of, “Hey, looks like you’ve got a hot ass”. I don’t normally respond to that kind of opening, but I checked his profile and I had to admit, it looked like he might have a hot ass himself. So, I replied. We were about half an hour into chatting when he asked me if I wanted to get together.  A little soon, by normal standards but I was up for the adventure.  We exchanged numbers and he fired off the first of his messages. This is how the conversation played out:

Him: Want to meet either Fri/Sat?:)

Me: Friday works for me

Him: Kool. I am defn game. Where are u?

Me: Meet me at the Blue Room at 8pm.

Him: U like calling the shots. I say lets meet at a coffee shop & if we click, head for drinks….sounds good?

Me: Yes I like calling the shots! Blue Room is coffee

Him: So if we click, perhaps rent a movie & pass by the liquor store?:)

Me: Thatd be like date 2 or 3

Him: This will be date 1&2….hehehe. Compromise strong lady >;->

Me: Sorry not the way I roll!

Him: Relax and go with the flow. That is all i ask….kool?

Him: We kool?

This Him is already irritating me. I wonder what the etiquette is? We’ve made a plan to meet and I’m not one to break plans, but should I commit any time to this guy who already has a strike against him in the “elegance” department?



et cetera